The Conclusion of the Silver Safety Pin Affair - Scene 10

Scene 10 – the Australian outback

Morning

GB: (yawns) Aggh…my neck…(tries to untilt her head, but cannot) Help, please.

BW: (rouses herself, is careful not to squish Fluffy, who is asleep beside her) Umkay…(cracks GB’s neck)

Is that good?

GB: (rubs her neck) Yes, but you could do some serious damage with that move if you so chose…don’t so choose, ok? I like my current non-paralyzed state.

BW: (malicious look) Don’t count on it or anything. (cackle)

GB: (runs) Noooooo! (runs into SH) (falls over)

SH: (sigh) Ladies, will this hostility never cease?

BW: (giggles) I was kidding!

GB: (gets up and dusts herself off) …I totally knew that… (mumbles indistinctly) I’m going to go wash my face or something…(leaves)

SH: (restarts the fire) Did you two consume all of the marshmallows after I retired last night?

BW: No, I think that would make us sick. (flourishes half full bag)

SH: Ah, breakfast! (grabs a handful of marshmallows and starts roasting them on a MARSHMALLOW

STICK)

BW: …for breakfast? That’s gross, Holmes.

SH: (grins mischievously) You are not required to eat these if you do not wish to, Bre.

BW: (sarcastically) Thank you for your generous allowance, sir.

SH: (laughs) Do you realize how frightfully amusing you are?

BW: (slight blush) Er, well…

SH: (sits back and starts eating marshmallows) Now. It is time for you to confess.

BW: (flustered) Wait, what? Confess?

SH: While your façade of confusion is almost effective, I possess inside information that leads me to believe that a rift has appeared between you and Grace whilst you have been in my presence. Am I correct in my conclusion?

BW: (wide-eyed, speechless)

SH: (holds up hand in reassurance) To spare both of you any potential embarrassment, I have chosen not to make any deductions. If you wish to tell me what is troubling you, you are encouraged to, but I shall deduce

nothing.

BW: Um, well…you’re a very nice person…

SH: (slight surprise) Thank you.

BW: …and…um…both Grace and I think you’re a very nice person…and…um…that has led to…

SH: (listens, blank look)

BW: …our becoming…rather…er…( starts crying a little)

SH: (looks sympathetic, puts arm around BW’s shoulders, and offers her a marshmallow)

BW: (nibbles marshmallow) …well, we’ve been arguing…aboutyouandbeingpossessiveandweirdbecausewelikeyouandthinkyou’reawesome. (sigh of relief)

There, I said it.

SH: Ah, I see. (goes into deep thought while patting BW’s shoulder) (muses) From what I’ve read about the

minds and emotions of adolescent girls, this behavior is to be somewhat expected. I shall have to give more thought to my precise response to this situation.

BW: …do you think you’ll feel awkward around us now?

SH: I should say not. Grace actually began to tell me something of this; it upset her as well. I shall tell you what I

told her. You young ladies have been intelligent, witty, and kind companions, and I’ve been having one of the most enjoyable times of my life on this expedition with you two. (hugs BW and stands up)

BW: Oh Holmes… (smiles)

SH: (takes her hand and holds it in both of his) I hope…that there will be no more violence?

BW: (stands, facing him, and laughs) I think the snuggie dance has healed all major disagreements there may

be.

SH: (patting and then releasing BW’s hand)(preens) I knew bestowing snuggies upon you was an act of pure

and unadulterated genius.

GB: (returns, making blowing noises) That stream is freeeeeeeeeezing. (plops down and spots SH’s

marshmallows) Ooo, breakfast!

SH: (triumphant) (to BW) See? I believe non-grossness has been achieved.

GB: May I have some, Holmes?

SH: Be my guest.

GB: (eats marshmallows) So, what’s our plan?

SH: Ah, right. (ponders) I propose that we continue to make our way to the location we were headed before the

carriage overturned –

BW: (interrupts) Which is where?

SH: (frowns) Pray do not interrupt my thought process. Ah, yes, make our way there, and I suspect we shall find

what we seek. We must, however, be exceedingly careful to avoid any ambushes or traps Moran may have set for us. He is a devious scoundrel. But I believe we shall indeed recover the silver safety pin.

GB: So…where are we going?

SH: We are going to…THE CAVE OF WONDERMENT AND MAGICAL HAPPENINGS!

BW: (incredulous) For real?

EXEUNT