The Wallaby of Death - Part 10

Scene 10 - Outside lair of Mr. Phace

Grace: Who is Mr. Phace?

Holmes: He’s a creeper, and he tracks people with wallabies…

Bre: What’s the point…?

Holmes: Eh…there seems to be an absence of one.

Grace (whispers): It’s just what creepers do.

Bre (nods in understanding): Aaah.

Grace: So should we go in?

Holmes (pauses to think): Not without sufficient ammunition.

Bre: We don’t have any ammunition.

Watson: We have…PANCAKES.

Holmes: What?

Watson: Pancakes!

Holmes: Watson! You’re a genius!

Everyone moves to the trunk to retrieve pancakes.

Bre (hand on trunk): But…what about…them?

Holmes: They may yet be of use to us.

Bre (nods solemnly): Alright.

Bre opens trunk. Marian, Amy and Mary leap out

Amy: Why did you shut us in the trunk?

Mary: Yeah!

Marian: What is going on?

Holmes: Now is not the time for idle questions. We are in need of assistance.

Mary: Ooh…for what?

Bre: We’re catching a creeper.

Grace: With pancakes.

Marian: PANCAKES!

Grace: Yes.

Bre: And you’re going to help us!

Watson solemnly leans into trunk and gathers pancakes. He begins to distribute them among the company.

Amy: How are we going to carry out this ingenious plan?

Holmes: We shall enter the lair with stealth, making our way to the lowest level…the basement…where the villain usually lurks. When we have him cornered, we shall unleash our weapons…

Marian: Pancakes.

Bre: Yep.

Marian: I think it’s a brilliant idea!

Grace: Of course…it is Holmes’ idea, after all.

Holmes begins to walk toward the door. The rest of the company follows single file close behind

Holmes opens the door and turns, his finger to his lips, signaling silence

The company tiptoes down the stairs and begins to hear steady tapping

Bre (whispers): What is that?

Holmes (whispers): I do believe that we have caught our creeper…in the midst of stalking!

Company turns corner and sees a man, sitting behind a computer, typing

Holmes (yells): Mr. Phace, your time of stalking has reached its end!

Mr. Phace (surprised): Sherlock Holmes!

The rest of the company steps out of the shadows, armed with pancakes

Mr. Phace (still surprised): Watson! Bre! Grace! Marian! Amy! Mary! So…nice to see you all! (rises)

Mary: That’s creepish.

Amy: No kidding. He’s a creeper. That’s what creepers do…be creepish.

Mary: True…

Watson: FIRE!

The company begins to pelt Mr. Phace with pancakes. Pieces of pancakes fly everywhere

Mr. Phace (curls into a ball on the floor): No! No! Stop!

Holmes: Only if you cease your creeping ways and remove yourself from England forever! (flings a pancake)

Mr. Phace: Ok! Ok! (runs away)

Wallaby enters room and looks around

Mary: Oh. My. Goodness.

Marian: It’s soooo cute!

Amy: What is it?

Mary: It’s a wallaby! (goes to it and pets it) I want to keep it!

More wallabies enter the room. Marian and Amy go to them and pet them and exclaim over their cuteness.

Amy: Where are all of the wallabies going to go? Now there isn’t anyone to take care of them!

Marian (thoughtful): We should take care of them!

Mary: What?

Marian: We should start a wallaby plantation!

Amy: Yes! What a wonderful idea! We can live in Mr. Phace’s lair, for he isn’t ever going to come back!

Marian (grinning): Yes!

Marian, Amy and Mary begin to wander around and clean up the basement

Holmes: I believe our work here is done.

The foursome exit the wallaby plantation and climb into the Ferrari. They drive away.

EXEUNT