The Wallaby of Death - Part 7

Scene 7 - Ferrari

Still driving along, quietly…everyone is minding their own business.

Watson: I never really understood your monograph on olives, Holmes…I never have, and I feel like I should.

Holmes (after a slight pause): What is there to understand?

Bre: Well, you only address one type of olive…I feel that you should have included more varieties…

Grace: I completely agree. Olives are very diverse in nature.

Watson: And the one variety you do deal with, you deal with in a very vague manner. It is not like you, Holmes.

Holmes: Well, at the time, I believe that I viewed the monograph as an art, rather than actual science.

Grace: That would explain…a lot.

Bre: Yep.

Watson: Oh! I never thought about it in that light!

Moment of silence

Holmes: I don’t know why I ever wrote a monograph on olives.

More silence

Bre (hears something behind them): Watson, I think we’re being followed.

Holmes (looks out the rearview mirror): My word.

Watson: What?

Holmes: It seems we are being followed by yet another adolescent female…

Everyone turns around to look, and sees a girl chasing the car, with her nose in the air

Bre: What in the world…?

Holmes: She appears to be…smelling…the air…

Grace: What should we do?

Holmes: Watson, stop the car.

Car comes to a halt

The girl quickly approaches the stopped car

Girl: I….SMELL….PANCAKES!

The company watches in disbelief as the girl goes to the trunk and begins clawing at it, attempting to get it open

Holmes (exits car and goes to girl): How may I assist you?

Girl: PANCAKES!

Bre: I think she wants pancakes, Holmes.

Grace: No kidding.

Holmes (to girl): What is your name?

Girl: PANCAAAAKES!

Bre (stifles a giggle)

Girl: No, no…I mean…my name’s Marian…

Holmes: Ah, a lovely name…how may I assist you, Mar-

Marian (cutting Holmes off): PANCAKES!

Marian continues to claw at the trunk

Grace: Um…Holmes…we probably should give her the pancakes, before she hurts herself.

Holmes (opens trunk) There we go, Marian.

Marian: PAN- Ohhhhh!!! (dives in)

Holmes (shuts trunk and climbs back in the passenger’s seat) Continue, Watson.

Bre: Wait, Holmes…I need to talk to Grace for a minute.

Bre and Grace exit the car and head into the woods

Bre: I do not entirely agree with what Holmes is doing to those girls. I feel like a kidnapper or something.

Grace: Yeah…what do we do?

Bre: Should we confront Holmes?

Grace: He doesn’t listen!

Bre: Meh.

During the slight silence, rustling is heard in the bushes

Bre: What was that?

Grace: WALLABY!!!!!!!!

Bre and Grace scream and run back to the car

As they exit the woods, they see Holmes and Watson, prancing around the Ferrari with jars full of sugar cubes

Bre: What on earth are they doing?

Grace: Catching fairies, it would appear.

Bre (laughs): Holmes, catch any fairies?

Holmes and Watson stop and put the jars behind their backs guiltily

Holmes: We were merely trying an experiment…

Watson: Yeah.

Bre: Of course.

Grace (freaking out): HOOOLMES! I think we just encountered a wallaby!

Holmes: I am sensing a pattern in the behavior of the wallaby or wallabies.

Grace: So…what are we gonna do?

Holmes: Set a trap.

Bre: Ooooh.

Grace: What kind of trap?

Holmes (gets a gleam in his eye)

Bre: Oh…dear.

EXEUNT