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Scene 15 – 221B
Cab pulls up to front door of 221B.
SH (exits cab and helps BW and GB out, then takes some of the bags and heads to the door)
GB (yawns) That was a very long trip, I must say.
BW Yes, it seemed much longer than our trip to
pocket) I’m so glad Fluffy didn’t get lost again. (glares at SH, whose back is turned as he tries to open the door)
GB (runs to help SH open the door)
SH Thank you, my dear. (enters the flat)
BW (takes her bag from the cab driver) Thank you, sir.
Cab drives off
GB and BW follow Holmes into the flat.
SH (to JW) Ah, my dear Watson! Wonderful to see you again! (dumps bags all over the floor and proceeds to shake Watson’s hand heartily)
JW (smiling) Good to see you, old fellow! I must say, I was quite surprised when I received your telegram stating that you were off to
SH (grins) It has been a lovely trip, regardless of the absurdity of my mission. (turns to BW and GB, who are
standing in the doorway watching the exchange) Ah, my dear ladies, come in and meet my good friend, Watson. You’ve heard of him, I’m sure.
GB (nods) Yes, sir, of course! (shakes JW’s hand) I am Miss Brennan, it’s wonderful to meet you, Dr. Watson.
JW (nods) And you, Miss Brennan. (shakes BW’s hand)
BW (grins) I am Miss Ward. I am so pleased to meet you, you have no idea how much I admire your writing
style! (in a low voice) I’m a writer, too, you see.
JW (nods) The pleasure is all mine.
(as BW steps back, Fluffy crawls out of her pocket.)
JW (tensely) What *is* that?
SH (laughs) That, my dear Watson, is Fluffy, Bre’s hamster, and the main cause of our trip to
JW I…see.
GB (aside to JW) It’s alright, I have a hamster-phobia as well.
JW (laughs)
SH (shakes head) I see that you have decorated the sitting room, Watson.
JW (matter-of-factly) Of course, Holmes. I wished it to look festive upon your return from
SH (nods) (strides to the bookcase and pulls something out) (returns) (to GB, handing her the papers) Grace, my monograph on platypuses. I advise you to study it thoroughly. (pauses) And if you wish to read any of my other monographs, please do not hesitate to send me a telegram.
GB (flips through the booklet, one eyebrow raised) Alright, thank you, Holmes.
BW (giggles) I told you he wrote a *monograph* on platypuses.
SH (rubs hands together) Well, ladies, I shall ring for dinner. You two may stay the night in the sitting room, if
you so wish, and you shall be off to
BW (sighs) I really do not want to leave…
GB (plops down on the settee) Neither do I. It’s been a lovely few weeks.
SH (suddenly jumps up and runs to the pile of suitcases on the floor, and begins rummaging through them)
BW, GB and JW watch intently
SH (holds up the crowbar) I trust, ladies, that neither of you will misuse this crowbar in the future?
JW (eyebrows raised) Misuse the crowbar? What happened, Holmes?
GB (sits up straight but doesn’t say anything)
BW (pets Fluffy) Ahh…you don’t want to know, Dr. Watson.
SH (hands crowbar to BW) For another time, Watson.
JW (blinks)
GB (winks at BW) We have something for you, Holmes.
BW (opens her suitcase and pulls out a white box) Yes, a sort of…thank you present. (brings SH the box)
SH (looks very touched, takes the box) Thank you, ladies. (opens it, throws his head back, and laughs loudly)
JW What is it, Holmes?
SH (pulls a big, red piece of fabric out of the box) A snuggie! (puts it on)
GB and BW pull their snuggies out of their suitcases and put them on.
JW (looks rather confused) Snuggies?
MH (enters with dinner on trays) Your dinner, Mr. Holmes.
SH (cheerfully) Ah, thank you, Mrs. Hudson. (motions for everyone to sit down at the table)
(An hour or so later; everyone’s food is gone, they are still seated at the table, GB, BW and SH still wearing their snuggies)
GB And then we went to
BW (starts giggling) And the monkey…
SH (in a low voice) I prefer to leave out the monkey, Bre.
BW (giggles hysterically) Nooo…we can’t do that, Holmes. It was my favorite part!
JW Monkey? What about the monkey?
GB (dies laughing)
SH (blank look)
BW (still laughing) Well…see, I wanted to take a trip to see the Venetian Monkey Gardens…so we took a little detour, and a monkey jumped on the boat and attached itself to Holmes.
JW I see.
BW But the best part was, at dinner, Holmes found the monkey attached to his leg, and then tried to get it off…
SH (looks down at the floor and notices a bunch of clothes lying around; jumps up suddenly) My dear Watson, I’ve almost forgotten! (rushes to his bedroom, snuggie flapping behind him)
JW (eyes wide) Do you have any idea what’s gotten into him?
GB (to BW) He could still be experimenting with his adolescent female disguise.
BW (clears throat) I hope not…
SH (returns, dragging a very large piece of furniture behind him, and trying not to get entangled in his snuggie)
BW (jaw drops) A dresser? Really?
SH (matter of factly) Get your garments off of my floor and into that dresser, pronto, Watson. Just because I get to throw papers everywhere doesn't make this a free for all, thank you Doctor.
JW As you wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish….
BW (wrinkles her brow) That sounds slightly familiar…is that a line from a movie?
GB (nods, surprised) Yeah.
JW (cleans all the clothes off the floor)
SH (settles in the chair and arranges his snuggie, leaning back, and watches JW clean up)
Later
GB and BW are settling down for the night; BW in the armchair and GB on the settee. SH and JW have long
since retreated to their rooms.
BW I would have never thought we would have dinner with Sherlock Holmes AND John Watson, prior to the
loss of my safety pin!
GB (giggles) Yes, it was lovely. Did you have any idea that Holmes bought a dresser for Watson? I never once
noticed it…
BW No, I hadn’t noticed it either. I wonder how he got it here without us knowing.
Silence
BW (sighs) I really, really don’t want to leave tomorrow.
GB I prefer not to think about it.
Silence
BW (sadly) I’m really gonna miss Holmes.
GB (sighs) No kidding.
BW (pulls her snuggie closer and sniffles) Good night, Grace. Good night, Fluffy.
GB (sniffles) Good night, Bre.
The Next Morning
SH (emerges from bedroom to find the girls up, packed, and ready) Oh, good morning, my dears.
GB (smiles weakly) Good morning, Holmes.
BW (sighs and pets Fluffy)
SH What’s with the long faces? Are you not excited to return to your families for Christmas?
BW Oh, no, I can’t wait to see my parents and sisters again….
GB (agrees) Same here…
BW It’s just…that…we’re going to miss you, Holmes.
GB Very much.
SH Ah, I see. (thinks for a moment) Well, you both are welcome to return any time you wish. My door will
always be open to you.
BW (smiles) Thank you, Holmes.
SH Now, I’m afraid we must depart, the train leaves at
The trio exits 221b, and walks down
GB I wish I had some coffee, to keep me awake.
SH Alright. (turns onto
BW (runs to catch up) Holmes, where are we going?
SH To Starbucks, my dear.
GB (excitedly) Ooh, thank you!
Trio enters Starbucks
enter Starbucks Employee (SE)
SE Hello, Mr. Holmes, ladies. What can I do for you this morning?
GB I will have a grande non-fat straight mocha, please.
SE Alright. (to BW) And you?
BW I’d like a Grande non-fat decaf white chocolate mocha peppermint twist with extra whipped cream, please.
SE Alright, one of my favorites. And you, Mr. Holmes?
SH (pauses) I think I shall have a venti non-fat triple-shot white chocolate raspberry mocha, leave out the
raspberries on top, please, with the whipped cream and chocolate drizzle stirred in.
BW (whispers) Hokey Peters…a triple-shot mocha? We better keep an eye on him…
GB (eyes wide) As if he needs the caffeine…
SE Alright, I have here…a non-fat straight mocha…a grande non-fat decaf white chocolate mocha peppermint
twist with extra whipped cream…and a venti non-fat triple-shot white chocolate raspberry mocha, the
raspberries left out and the whipped cream and chocolate drizzle stirred in. (slides drinks across the counter)
SH Thank you very much. (takes his drink)
BW (takes hers) Holmes, a *triple-shot?* Are you gonna be ok?
SH Ah, yes. I’m fine. (sips slowly)
BW (looks at GB, shrugs)
GB (shakes head and sips)
Train Station
The trio is seated on a bench, sipping their Starbucks quietly
SH Well, ladies…I hate to dim the high spirits present…but the train should be arriving at any minute.
BW (sighs and sets coffee on the bench)
SH (rises) I suppose it’s time to bid each of you farewell. (takes GB’s hand)
GB (stands, sets coffee down, and tries to suppress her tears)
SH My dear, dear Grace…
GB (starts crying)
SH (holds both of her hands) Please, don’t cry…
GB I can’t help it, Holmes. I’m going to miss you, so much…
SH (softly) And I, you. (pulls her close and hugs her)
GB (cries softly into SH’s shoulder)
SH (holds GB at arms length, and meets her eyes) You are a wonderful young woman, Grace. I am proud to call
you my friend.
GB (smiles in spite of her tears) Thank you, Holmes.
SH (hugs GB once more, strokes her hair, then kisses her cheek)
GB (looks at SH, smiles, squeezes his hand, and goes to sit down)
SH (turns to BW, who has remained seated on the bench)
BW (sobs)
SH (kneels down on the cobblestones) Bre… (takes her hand) Please stop crying, you’re making this incredibly difficult.
BW (sobs harder)
SH (squeezes her hand) Bre, I have had an immensely pleasurable time with the two of you.
BW Oh Holmes…(wraps arms around his neck and continues crying)
SH (quietly) Thank you for making this case so enjoyable. You are a lovely young lady, and I will miss you.
(pauses) Very much.
BW (sitting back and wiping her eyes) I will miss you too, Holmes.
Train pulls up
SH (stands and takes BW’s hands) Have a wonderful trip, my dear. (kisses her forehead)
BW (nods, sniffling)
SH (smiles) Now, for your bags…(picks up all the bags and carries them to the baggage man)
GB Thank you, Holmes.
SH (slight nod)
GB (hugs SH one more time) Good bye.
SH Good bye, Grace.
GB (climbs onto train)
BW (small smile, looks down at her feet)
SH (tips her chin up with his forefinger) Cheer up, Bre. We will meet again someday.
BW (meets his eyes) Of course. (looks down again) I better go.
SH Good bye, Bre. (watches BW board the train, then turns away and begins walking to the bench, where he
has left his coffee and walking stick)
BW (starts to climb on the train, then turns back) Holmes, wait! (runs after him)
SH (turns around)
BW (runs into SH’s arms and hugs him) I forgot to say thank you. And give you this. (places a tiny package into SH’s hand, looks into his eyes) So, thank you. And good bye, Holmes.
SH (watches as BW runs back to the train and boards)
BW and GB wave out the window as the train pulls away.
SH (opens the package and smiles) The safety pin…
Later, back at
SH (sulking in his armchair and smoking his pipe)
JW Really, Holmes, you ought not to be so down about it. They will return, if I know fan girls.
SH (mumbles) They’re *not* fan girls…
JW (starts to speak, but notices SH looking strangely at his hand, one eyebrow raised) What is it?
SH (laughs a very un-Holmesish laugh) I ...don’t…know. I suddenly feel…very…tingly. Something is affecting
me…
JW You just had Starbucks, do you think that could be it?
SH (laughs, eyes wide) This is odd… (almost giggles)
JW (a little freaked out) Holmes, you’re not…on…anything…are you?
SH (smiles) Ahhhhhhhh…..nooooooo… (jumps out of the chair and races to the door)
JW And where are you off to?
SH (with a weird gigglish sound) To count…the STAIRS!!!!! AIEEEEE!
Door slams
JW (stares, open mouthed) Whaaa?
Just then, something flies into the window, flailing, and hits the back of JW’s head.
JW EEE! What on earth was that? (looks down at the creature, who is staring at him with beady eyes)
SH (enters again, giddy) Ahhh…Watson…17 steps…
JW Whaaa….? Holmes…what *is* this?
SH (becoming straight faced) That, my friend, is…(in a hushed, secret voice) a platypus.
JW Whaaa?
SH (dies laughing and runs to his room) I shall…retuuuuuurn…after….my….sooooooooong…….
JW (jaw drops, looks at platypus)
SH (laughing behind his closed bedroom door, begins to play a strange, gypsy- like melody on his violin)
JW (looks at platypus again, mouth wide open) Ahhh…well, I suppose…this is the…very, very singular
conclusion to the silver safety pin affair, am I correct, Mr. Platypus?
P: (stares at JW with beady eyes)
JW Alright…then…(picks up platypus and holds it out at arms’ length) Mrs. Hudson! Mrs. Huuudsooon!
FINIS
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There you have it :) Hope you enjoyed the whole crazy story!!
In case I don't post tomorrow...Merry Christmas to all of my wonderful new (and old!) Holmesian friends :)
