The Wallaby of Death - Part 2

Scene 2 - Baker Street

Bre and Grace stand outside the door of Baker Street.

Grace: I wonder how awkward it is to ask to borrow someone’s car for your road trip.

Bre: I have no idea.

Grace (knocks on door): I guess we’ll just have to find out.

Pause

Mrs. Hudson (opens door): Hello…oh. I remember you two…

Bre (smiles sweetly): I remember you too, Mrs. Hudson!

Grace (snorts)

Bre: Grace! Don’t snort, it’s unbecoming of you.

Mrs. Hudson: Well…come in.

Bre and Grace follow Mrs. Hudson upstairs

Mrs. Hudson (opens door and peeks in): Mr. Holmes… (gasps)

Bre and Grace: What?

Mrs. Hudson (covers eyes and runs away)

Bre and Grace walk up to the door and peer in…

Holmes and Watson are inside, frolicking about the room, doing the snuggie dance

Bre and Grace: Oh…dear….

Bre: Holmes???

Holmes and Watson immediately stop dancing and stand awkwardly by the window

Long and awkward silence as they all stare at each other

Bre: Pray do not steal my dance. It is copyrighted, I assure you.

Holmes (grabs snuggies and dashes into his bedroom)

More awkward silence as girls watch in disbelief

Watson: Nice weather we’re having…?

Grace: Yeeeeah…very nice…

Bre (staring)

Watson: Er…won’t you sit down?

Grace and Bre sit on the settee

Watson sits in the chair across from them and folds his hands

Watson: Um…it’s nice to see you girls again…

Bre: It’s….lovely to see you too…

Bre and Grace burst out laughing

Watson (blushes)

Holmes enters dramatically

Bre and Grace eye him unsurely

Holmes: Don’t give me that.

Bre: Kay.

Grace: He has a point. We did make it up.

Bre: True.

Bre and Grace leap from the settee and hug Holmes

Holmes stiffens

Bre and Grace return to their seats

Grace: It’s so good to see you, Holmes!

Bre: Yeah!

Holmes: It’s wonderful to see you all, completely unharmed…

Bre: What do you mean?

Holmes: Automotive mishaps do have a tendency to cause injury, especially to adolescent females.

Grace (whispers in Bre’s ear): He wants us to ask him how he deduced that, so he can tell us.

Bre (nods slowly in understanding)

Bre and Grace grin

Grace (to Watson): Can we borrow your car?

Watson (is confused) Holmes…?

Holmes (slightly annoyed): Well, Watson…it seems that in the midst of a completely superfluous argument, control was lost and the vehicle crashed after a short time, into a tree, post, or other some other sort of obstruction.

Watson: I see.

Bre: We reallllly need a car…we’re in the middle of a road-trip, and we only have 3 days!

Watson: But…but…it’s…a Ferrari…

Bre: A WHAT???

Grace: We’ll be very, very careful!

Holmes (mumbles sarcastically): Yes, as careful as you were with the last one…

Grace (glares at Holmes)

Watson: Ok, ok, I give in…you may borrow my…car…

Holmes (studying Bre’s face): But that is not all, my dear friends…

Bre (squirms uncomfortably): No, it’s not…

Grace: We may have a case for you, Holmes.

Holmes (settles in chair and steeples fingers): Continue.

Bre: Well…while we were assessing the damage done to my car…we heard some rustling in the bushes, and when we went to investigate, we saw a bunch of odd-looking footprints…and they were big…and scary…and deep…and big…and…frightening…

Grace (bursts in): Holmes, they were the footprints of…A GIGANTIC WALLABY!

Silence

Holmes: I think it would be prudent if I could observe these…goings-on… for myself. (rises) Come Watson, we shall join our friends on their road trip.

Watson (grins): May I drive?

EXEUNT

The Wallaby of Death - Part 1

Scene 1 - Smart Car

Bre and Grace are crammed in the smart car. Bre is driving.

Bre (greatly agitated): I’m telling you, dancing hogs are a danger to the minds of our youth!!!!!!

Grace (calmly): I don’t believe it would affect them in any way, actually.

Bre (exasperated sigh)

Pause

Bre: But what about the anchovies?!?!

Grace (puzzled): What about the anchovies?

Bre (throws hands up in the air)

Grace (grabs steering wheel): BRE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!??!!

Car careens out of control and goes off the road, rolls down a hill and into a tree.

Bre and Grace sit in stunned silence

Grace (sarcastically): Nice.

Bre and Grace exit the car and begin to assess the damage

Bre: Oh dear.

Awkward silence

Bre: Now what?

Awkward silence

Grace: You tell me.

Awkward silence

Bre (wails): NOW WE DON’T HAVE A CAR SO WE CAN FINISH OUR TOUR OF THE ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE!!!! (collapses on the ground sobbing)

Grace (stares blankly): How far are we from London?

Bre (stops wailing and stands up): 22.2 miles.

Grace: Okay then.

Bre: Why do you ask?

Grace: Why do you think I’m asking?

Pause

Bre and Grace: HOLMES!

Bre and Grace hear rustling in the bushes.

Bre (edges closer to Grace): What was that?

Rustling stops

Grace: Let’s go investigate…

Bre and Grace wander to bushes and begin inspecting ground

Bre (stops dead in tracks and points at ground): Grace…I found something…

Grace (comes over to see): What?

Pause as Grace looks at ground

Grace (gasps)

Bre (solemnly): I think we should let Holmes handle this.

EXEUNT

Surprise!

Grace has been at my house since last Tuesday...and we have been working on a surprise for you all :) I know it has been a long time since we have posted anything, but we figured this would make up for it. haha.

So yeah. :)

Enjoy your surprise!

Enter: The Wallaby of Death